Through this blog, written during my year of saying kaddish for my mother, Hilda Yael Kessler, may her memory be for a blessing, I attempted to reflect on and find meaning about the internal as well as ritualistic processes of mourning. I hope others may identify with and find some measure of comfort in its words.
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Wednesday, March 21, 2012
A night out
With my daughter home on Spring break from college, I had the bright idea of taking her out to see a play. I bought the tickets, an 8:00 p.m. performance just south of Midtown Manhattan. I felt good to be able to treat her and spend some time together. Then I remembered. Oops, I need to say Kaddish, and with the clock change, Mincha at my local shul began at 6:50. I was almost resigned to missing the first Act when I realized I could try to find a minyan close to the theater. A Google search and a phone call to the Rabbi at the 16th Street Synagogue turned up a 5:50 Mincha/Ma'ariv minyan. (A word of advise: don't just rely on the Internet; always contact the shul before showing up to make sure a minyan really exists.) I didn't realize the afternoon service could begin so early. The earlier time is called Plag Ha'mincha. Plag is an hour and a quarter before sunset; if Mincha is said before that time, then Ma'ariv following on the heels of Mincha can be recited immediately thereafter just after Plag. see http://www.ou.org/torah/tt/5759/tazria_mtzora59/featuretidbit.htm And so I was able to daven, say Kaddish and see the entire play which I greatly enjoyed. The lesson: living and saying Kaddish regularly is not without its complications.
Just curious how you handled things like movies and plays And what are some of the rules for that during the kaddish saying year
ReplyDeleteGood question. I know there are books that tell you what you are and are not supposed to do, but in general I followed my own instincts about what was appropriate. I did not attend any live music shows, and I heard no live music except for the wedding of my cousin's son in Israel (see post: "A Wedding and my 'Job'"). The movies I went out to see, which were few, had serious themes (Lincoln comes to mind). I did rent DVDs that I watched with my family. I also watched TV shows I enjoy as usual. I think I only went to that one play which was a Eugene O'Neil play called "Beyond the Horizon," definitely not an uplifting experience. Finally, with the kaddish obligation, it was not easy to go out in any event, and, as a general rule, I didn't seek out opportunities to go out. Hope this helps.
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