Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy birthday. Happy mother's day

Yesterday was my birthday and today is Mother's Day.  Being the first born and born just before Mother's Day, the two days were always linked.   For years she would send me a birthday card, mailed so that I would receive it exactly on my birthday.  I've kept these cards in a file and looked at them today.  They contain brief but heartfelt words of her love (and admiration) of me.  In the past few years, these cards were replaced by ecards from, whose aesthetic and whimsical sensibility matched her own.  (I'm sure she did her research before deciding on the type of ecard choose).  It saddens me not to have received one this year. 

In addition to the cards, she always called me on my birthday.  Last year she didn't reach me so she left a message on my cell phone.  It was one of her outpourings of love ("I'm just calling to wish you a happy birthday and I hope you feel good about this being the day that you came into my life.")  Just before she died, I decided to upgrade to an iphone.  The company told me that all my voice messages would be erased when I activated the new phone.  I explained there were messages I wanted to keep.  They gave me the number of a service that can provide you with an audio file of your messages (   I waited until I received the file of the message before activating the phone.  Listening to it today makes it that much more difficult to believe she is no longer here with us.

 Of course I would call her on Mother's Day, and heaven help me if I forgot.  She took this day seriously.  While I've always objected to its commercial aspect, she viewed it as an occasion to recognize the importance of family relationships.  She poured out a lot of love on her children, and she wanted to be recognized.  On this Mother's Day, I wish I could tell her "Happy Mother's Day, Ma.  I love you."

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