Friday, July 13, 2012

Wearing the same old clothing

I haven't written about some of the other obligations/restrictions that are associated with mourning a parent.  The main one, and the one that has the most life-altering consequences, is, of course, the obligation to go to shul and say kaddish.  But there are others as well.  The mourner is not supposed to wear new clothing.  He or she is not supposed to go to parties or concerts or s'machot (celebrations).

For the most part, I've been abiding by these restrictions, and then some.  On the clothing issue, I've refrained from wearing new clothes other than pajamas and socks.  That's not to say that I haven't bought any new clothing.  My mother loved to shop and loved to take me and her grandchildren shopping.  She loved a good deal and she had great taste in clothing.  So it feels too much for me not to buy a nice shirt or slacks when I see something I like.  I can't avoid seeing clothes for sale as I often take my kids shopping.

I've ended up buying a few items.  While I could give them to my son to wear and then, technically, they would not be "new", that doesn't feel right to me.  So they sit in my dresser or my closet. Meanwhile, my old jeans are getting pretty ragged.  They'll have to do for a few more months. Putting on my new clothes for the first time will be one of the markers that the year of mourning has ended.

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